MOAC

A few days ago, Michael and I went in for another food adventure, in the name of science, of course.  Our previous experiment of this nature was the “2,000 Calorie Challenge.” The recommended daily intake for average adults is 2,000 calories, so one drill weekend, we decided to attempt to fit all of them into a single meal.  After some menu research, we decided to go with Burger King.  As you might well imagine, the rest of the day was pretty much down the drain, as we were rather sluggish, tired, and bloated.  I would definitely recommend the traditional spreading out of the calories throughout the entire day.

IMG_0789 This time, we took a liquid approach.  Having noticed that our local cafe advertise the “MOAC” (Mother of all Coffees), we decided to give it a go.  After all, we were ex-patriots of the Mecca of coffee aficionados, Seattle; how could we not?

The local baristas were shocked to hear our order (for reasons that are obvious in retrospect, it is a seldom-ordered beverage).  After getting over their initial shock, they got to work on the drink designed to shock our systems.

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Ever the entrepreneur, one of the guys made sure the company logo was facing the right way for this picture.  Green Beans is by no means a great coffee shop; even if a Starbucks moving in next door would completely drain their business.  The only reason they have costumers at all is that they are literally the only place in town to get a coffee (well, there is one other place, but it isn’t a real coffee shop either, just a stand in the internet cafe).

 

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Things were going well, initially, aside from the fact that it tasted terrible.  I managed to finish mine within a short time, despite poor lid design employed by the company.  Michael, on the other hand, was not quite able to make it through the entire cup before he started feeling some of the ill effects of this brew.  I was beginning to feel a little of it myself by this time.

There was an accelerated rush of the normal caffeine buzz at first, which then gradually built to more of a caffeine high.  I was a little light-headed, very energetic, and brimming with confidence.  This gradually transitioned into nervous twitches and jittery fingers, before crashing into a monstrous coffee-induced headache.  It pretty much took the entire day to live down the chemical imbalance brought on by the drink, and a little of the night as well (we didn’t get to sleep until well after 3 AM).  Certainly an experience that one should not try at home, or probably anywhere else, for that matter.

Comments

Nathan said…
Ah, the beast that is coffee...reminds me of a dilbert cartoon. Actually I nearly had a moment like that the other day as I was moving all the furniture around my office. I was right in the middle of rotating my desk when it felt like someone kicked the batteries out of my back. It was with a horrifying shock that I had not had any caffeine all day, and now my body was trying ot digest lunch on top of it. Luckily we keep our mimifridge sticked so I was able to dodge the itis.
12:19 PM
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