Your World As I See It

    Here are some pictures of me at the dental clinic. No, I wasn't there having a cavity drilled-this is actually part of our process for leaving Iraq and active duty. By getting some of these medical procedures done now, we will have much less of a stay in Wisconsin on the way home. That is, obviously, a hand-held dental x-ray in the photos (though it looks like it would be better for ghostbusting than for dental hygiene). And good news from the pearly white front...my teeth are doing fine. And you thought my sonic toothbrush collection wouldn't pay off! And what month would be complete without a fire alarm? This is my office, being visited by the fire department. Naturally, this came about after my not-so-bright coworker Barnes (or "Simple Ken" as we refer to him) was fiddling with a fluorescent tube. There was no actual fire, just a chemical smelling short; however, given the way he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, one would have th...

A few days ago, Michael and I went in for another food adventure, in the name of science, of course.  Our previous experiment of this nature was the “2,000 Calorie Challenge.” The recommended daily intake for average adults is 2,000 calories, so one drill weekend, we decided to attempt to fit all of them into a single meal.  After some menu research, we decided to go with Burger King.  As you might well imagine, the rest of the day was pretty much down the drain, as we were rather sluggish, tired, and bloated.  I would definitely recommend the traditional spreading out of the calories throughout the entire day. This time, we took a liquid approach.  Having noticed that our local cafe advertise the “MOAC” (Mother of all Coffees), we decided to give it a go.  After all, we were ex-patriots of the Mecca of coffee aficionados, Seattle; how could we not? The local baristas were shocked to hear our order (for reasons that are obvious in retrospect, it is a s...

Things are really starting to warm up in this part of the world, and that brings along all kinds of problems.  The air quality around these parts is already low, between the waste disposal methods, the lack emission standards, and all the sand swirling about.  The heat has begun to have an unpleasant greenhouse-like effect of trapping all kinds of pollutants and odors around the camp.  The last few days this has been especially problematic around our little living area of “Microtown.”  The sunny and dust storm-free weather has encouraged most folks to enjoy the outdoors more than usual.  Unfortunately, most of them have also used this opportunity to indulge in lighting up some variation of vile weed.  Walking up and down the rows, you can see groups of soldiers dangling cigarettes, lighting up Cuban cigars, trying out a hookah, and even one or two with a pipe.  The convergence of all these smokers and the heat of the evening was suffocating.  Ev...

One method of marking the time over here is to look at the weekends.  Unlike back home, the weekends don’t just seem short, they actually are short.  Despite the lack of actually work that needs to be done, most of us are lucky to get one day off.  While some government agencies are considering cutting back on their work week, we have to up with another day of clock watching.  On the other hand, there is a certain lack of leisure time activities to be had in Ramadi.  The main use for downtime over here is just the escape from inanity of the office, I suppose.  It certainly does make you realize how much you take even regular weekends back home, not to mention the excitement of three or four day ones.  Sometimes you just have to enjoy those quiet weekend afternoons…take a break, and relax when you can.

As you probably know, my current deployment is an irritant born of shortsighted government policy and some rather unfortunate timing.  I had been scheduled to be done with all this foolishness last August, but was instead shanghai’d into this operation by the infamous policy of “Stop-Loss” (euphemistically named “Involuntary Extension” by the military; derided as a “Back Door Draft” by its Congressional detractors).  This policy, along with other similar ones, such as reserve recall, not only helped bolster unit rolls, but also aided greatly in the reduction of morale.  Naturally, now that the damage is done, both policies are being quietly discarded. Certain lawmakers, realizing the injustices wrought forth in this situation, reacted in typical D.C. fashion: throwing money at it.  They introduced legislation to provide reparations for soldiers so thanklessly pressed again into service.  Their original aims were quite sweeping, proposing a $1500 per month s...

So, here I am, back in Iraq.  Nothing's changed much to say.  Ramadi is still the dusty hell-hole it was when I left.  Naturally, it has begun to heat up a bit over here, so I suppose we have that going for us (though it confirms my belief that not all change is good change!).  Anyway, I know everyone wants to know about my return trip... I knew my trip would be interesting when I couldn't find my boots the morning of my departure.  This certainly had disaster written all over it.  It seems as though SOMEONE had carted off my military footwear to the Goodwill in a case of mistaken identity.  Being the reasonable man I am, I won't disclose the name of the person responsible for such actions, but suffice to say that those of you who know my family well will no doubt realize that there is only one of us who would ever through stuff out with no notice given. Fortunately, there was a reserve pair of boots hanging around the garage, so I didn't have t...